Monthly Archives: November 2006

To be a Frontman…

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What a gift. However, a few side notes before diving directly into that thought:

  1. I love my pool table.
  2. I love Guitar Hero 2.
  3. I love the Pool/Guitar Hero 2 party.
  4. I HATE Vodka and Redbulls.
  5. My stomach can fit exactly 5.2 pounds in it.
  6. I seem to be losing my hair.
  7. I kicked Zeromus’ ass.
  8. Brothers McManus.
  9. Fluorescent Light bulbs are apparently awesome.
  10. Matt Millen

Back to the original thought… Obviously I have this on my mind because of seeing “Disturbed” live. I had honestly planned to hang back at this concert and try to just watch. That did not happen. The brothers mcmanus pounded to the front, plunged into the mix, and fought for the freedom of the human race.

It all comes to this point: I wish i could be a front man for a band. I’ve always thought that music is one of the most powerful forms of expression (well, ‘real’ music… not the blackeye peas or Justin Timberlake). To take fantastically epic, sick, powerful, hurtful, punishing, and profound feelings and be able to put that into lyrics is truly a gift… Add to that the unbelievable power of harmony and the result can be phenominal. Beyond lyrics. Beyond music.

For example, Jon Davis of Korn is one who sticks out to me as just pouring out his soul. I’ve seen Korn live quite a few times, and I can attest to the fact that this man’s lyrics are straight from his life force. Whether bright and loving or dark and absolute hatred, it is pure humanity(Watch it). And then it is more (Watch more of it).

Jon Davis is just one example… Off the top of my head, some people who share this same gift are Maynard of tool, James Hetfield, Corey Taylor, David Draimen, Chad Gray, Dave Matthews, Robert Tepper, Stephen Richards, Samuel James Hagar, Eddie Vedder… Even Coby Dick. There are so many more…

A “real” frontman creates an energy that cannot even be put into words. It cannot be described. I wouldn’t mind being able to do that.

Sheer Guitar Hero 2 / Pool Party

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If you are reading this, you are invited to a party next Saturday, November 18th.  This will be held at casa del Vanbergen, and include guitar heroes 1/2, billiards, darts, and absolute Vanhood.

The first guitar hero party was an unfathomable success (yes, success = 3 people vomiting at the same time; note to self: watch the red wine).  Now that guitar hero 2 has come out, and I have obtained a fantastic pool table – the time has come for house party 2 to be released.   Sat., Nov. 18th.  Food provided but BYOB.

Vanbergs, you have to make the third video visa vi this party.  Probably to monkey wrench…

Uncontrollable Laughter

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So apparently google translator is undeniably the most entertaining thing to ever exist… Surely, Google did not intend it to be entertaining… I’m sure that google designed this tool to help people explore new languages, diversify their culture, and overall do good things in the world.

However, if you tweak the usage of this utility – the outcome is possibly the funniest thing of all time. Instead of using it to really translate language… use as follows:

  1. Go to google translator
  2. Paste in some typical english (1-2 paragraphs is a good amount)
  3. Translate that into japanese
  4. Copy all japanese output
  5. paste the japanese text BACK into google translator
  6. Translate that from japanese back into english
  7. Laugh uncontrollably

For example, take this paragraph from my previous post…
“Ryan Payner and Wes Vanlandw command the defense with mortal peril. Payner provides a strong line presence while Vanlandw continually shuns receivers in sheer dutch coverage.Eric Flo kicks the ball once in awhile.”

Now Translated to Japanese and Back to English:
“[raian] Payner and Wes Vanlandw escaping order death to the defense of danger. Payner while avoiding the receiver of the Dutch coverage whose Vanlandw always is thin, offers strong line existence. Eric Flo one time kicks sphere for a while.”

I’ve seriously done this for hours… I really don’t know if i’ve ever laughed so hard. A couple notable translations that i’ve seen… Waffle house = “The house of the many waffle supplies“. Big Lots = “The lot, which at first glance, is large“.

Here’s a paragraph from Vanbergs’ website… just because it is hilarious.
Real Paragraph:
“Other than that, the past month has been pretty uneventful, hence the supreme lack of boring updates. It will be incredibly nice to get the hell out of this state for a week, even if it does entail riding in a car with Flo for eight billion hours. I think the stops at multiple Waffle Houses will more than make up for the company ;-)”

Translated/Retranslated:
“Past other than that month directly boring renewal considerably calmness safety, therefore is the highest scarcity. That accompanying the fact that it rides by the car where 8,000,000,000 hours Flo have been attached it is very splendid to come out of this state of 1 weeks. I think of that the company where stop of the house of the many waffle supplies from many decides; -)”

Try it with anything… i’ll post comments if/when i find some more funny ones…

The “Real” Detroit Lions

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I would like to introduce to everyone the real Detroit Lions Football team. As the “fake” lions are the most abysmal sporting organization to ever grace professional athletics, the real Lions are surely welcomed by all and held in very high regard among all facets of competitive sports.

Introducing The “Real” Sega NFL 2k5 Detroit Lions, straight from my Xbox:

  • Eric Vanberge, #24, Running Back
  • Steven Vanbergs, #10, Wide Receiver, special teams kick return
  • Wesley Vanlandw, #25, Defensive Back, special teams kick/punt return
  • Ryan Payner, #50, Middle Linebacker
  • Eric Flo, #0, Kicker
  • Mr. Mickeyvb, #1, Quarterback
  • Joey Harrington, #3, moved to Field goal/extra point snap holder
  • Remaining roster standard Detroit as of 2005 season

The real Detroit Lions have just completed game 10 of their season with a stunning 68 to 21 victory over the Indianapolis Colts. Highlights include:

  • Steven Vanbergs: 330 receiving yards, 7 Touchdowns
  • Mr. Mickeyvb: 429 yards passing, 8 Touchdown passes
  • Eric Vanberge: 159 yards rushing, 2 Touchdowns
  • Wesley Vanlandw: 2 Interceptions

As we head to week 11 vs. the Arizona Cardinals, here are some of the Season Stats:

  • Eric Vanberge: 227 Carries, 1477 yards, 6.5 ypc, 17 touchdowns, 86 yard longest run, 0 fumbles
  • Steven Vanbergs: 78 Receptions, 1950 yards, 25 ypc, 76 longest rec., 26 Touchdowns
  • Mr. Mickeyvb: 148/274 passes (54%), 3,143 yards passing, 11.5 yds per pass, 36 TD, 24 interceptions, 80 yard longest throw
  • Wes Vanlandw: 20 Tackles, 1.5 sacks, 18 deflected passes, 7 interceptions, 262 yards, 4 Touchdowns. 547 kick return yards, 1 TD. 246 punt return yards, 2 TD.
  • Ryan Payner: 30 Tackles, 3 sacks, 3 forced fumbles
  • Eric Flo: 4 Field goals made, 6 attempts. 55 yard longest.
  • Overall Team: 10-0 Record, 4,642 yards total offense, 469 Total Points.

The Lions are the only undefeated team in the NFL, and the only team to have clinched a playoff birth thus far… The strong quarterback skills of Mr. Mickeyvb hold the teams offense together, and combined with powerful running back/wide receiver brothers McManus – the result is the #1 offense in the NFL.

Ryan Payner and Wes Vanlandw command the defense with mortal peril. Payner provides a strong line presence while Vanlandw continually shuns receivers in sheer dutch coverage.

Eric Flo kicks the ball once in awhile.