Tool: A Tribute


Almost anyone that knows me would tell you that I am extremely picky when it comes to music. I hate 99.99% of the music that is created on this planet. HOWEVER – In my opinion, music is (well, should be – in most cases) an extremely powerful extension of unbridled humanity and personality. It doesnt matter the genre, it doesnt matter the style, it doesnt matter if it is fast or slow – Music is absolutely the most profound of any creative art or self expression. (again, when i say “music” – i am not referring to such things as “O-town” or “Justin ‘dance with me’ Timberlake”).

I consider myself a fairly unique person – so it makes sense that only a small percentage of music fuses with me on a higher level. Tool is a band that accomplishes this feat without question or concern.

Tool is on the verge of releasing a new album – Which makes it their third album in literally the last 10 years. Although their new album “10,000 Days” has not yet been released, I have had the pleasure of giving it a “pre-listen”. It is quite different from typical Tool music, but that is almost impossible to say because ALL of Tool’s music is completely unique. Rythmic concentration on percussion – Ambient, powerful, and soothing guitar – And absolutely epic lyrics/vocals from Maynard James Keenan.

Maynard grew up in Scottville Michigan, which is literaly 15 minutes from where I grew up. And really, aside from Mickeyvb – Maynard might be the greatest man in the world.

Although many of Maynard’s lyrics are completely subjective and up for interpretation of the listener – there are some lyrics that could not possibly be taken any other way. Aenima, for example; is undeniably saying “We are beyond saving – no retribution possible – the ONLY way to fix it is to absolutely destroy it”. Truly epic.

I have had the pleasure of seeing this band in concert twice. And one of these concerts was without a shadow of a doubt one of the most amazing and bitterly unique scenarios to ever be able to happen. I don’t know if people who attended this really truly realize the importance of this, but seriously it is absolutely cataclysmic. The concert I refer to: Tool, on September 11th, 2001.


Obviously, September 11th 2001 is a date that is etched on a dark side of everyone’s mind forever. The concert was rescheduled, and took place on Thursday, September 13th instead. The course of actions on Sept. 11th Completely changed Tool’s performance. It was a completely unique and literally a life changing event. You could almost call it religion. They took out a couple songs, for fairly obvious reasons, but the performance was profound. Thinking about it when i write this – i get goose bumps.

That’s what good music does…. It gives you goose bumps.

“”Some say the end is near.
Some say we’ll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will.
I sure could use a vacation from this

Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I’ll see you down in Arizona bay.

Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

It’s a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.
Any fucking time. Any fucking day.
Learn to swim, I’ll see you down in Arizona bay.

Some say a comet will fall from the sky.
Followed by meteor showers and tidal waves.
Followed by faultlines that cannot sit still.
Followed by millions of dumbfounded dipshits.

Some say the end is near.
Some say we’ll see armageddon soon.
I certainly hope we will cuz
I sure could use a vacation from this

Silly shit, stupid shit…

One great big festering neon distraction,
I’ve a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.

Mom’s gonna fix it all soon.
Mom’s comin’ round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim.

Fuck L Ron Hubbard and
Fuck all his clones.
Fuck all those gun-toting
Hip gangster wannabes.

Learn to swim.

Fuck retro anything.
Fuck your tattoos.
Fuck all you junkies and
Fuck your short memory.

Learn to swim.

Fuck smiley glad-hands
With hidden agendas.
Fuck these dysfunctional,
Insecure actresses.

Learn to swim.

Cuz I’m praying for rain
And I’m praying for tidal waves
I wanna see the ground give way.
I wanna watch it all go down.
Mom please flush it all away.
I wanna watch it go right in and down.
I wanna watch it go right in.
Watch you flush it all away.

Time to bring it down again.
Don’t just call me pessimist.
Try and read between the lines.

I can’t imagine why you wouldn’t
Welcome any change, my friend.

I wanna see it all come down.
suck it down.
flush it down

Maynard – I definitely know how to swim my friend.

14 thoughts on “Tool: A Tribute

  1. vanlandw

    you have implemented a photograph of the concert ticket of the best concert ever…….gg vanberge i would give almost anything to have video of that show

  2. vanberge

    JJA – you really do not know me very well.

    Vanbergs, yes i do.

    Vanlandw, I think i agree that it was the best concert i’ve ever been to. :-/

  3. vanlandw

    block jjafuller

    block vanbergs tuesday 12:01am

    vanberge…the only concerts that compare now after some reflection was ozzfest and seeing disturbed…only enough disturbed as at ozzfest to.

    actually tool in east lansing was pretty cool too…they played triad and it fucking ruled

  4. bun

    music ranks the lowest on my favorite forms of art, just so you know. on THAT list, Tool is also at the bottom πŸ˜›

  5. vanbergs

    It was definitely cool to hear Sober at the Lansing show. At the Van Andel, they were just theatrical for the sake of being theatrical. Honestly, I almost got a little bored during the third 15-minute instrumental interlude. Yeah, they’re talented. I know they aren’t about beating ass constantly, and that’s fine too, I don’t mind that. But Tool needed to pick it up. They had a great atmospheric show and quite possibly the worst possible time to hold a concert (9-11). I guess I just wanted to hear my favorite songs, that’s what it came down to.

  6. vanlandw

    Clearly Tool doesn’t scream constantly for three minute bursts so I’m sure you were quite bored. :-p

    I’m not saying I don’t enjoy angry tracks because I do….but I don’t have a problem with long songs that arn’t constantly playing as heavy as possible either. I do enjoy instrumentals so I’m sure that doesn’t hurt either. πŸ™‚

    And whats wrong with putting on a good show while playing music. Not every concert is about playing up the the crowd demanding everybody “to jump on 1,2,3” and “sing along with them”. I have to say I’ve never seen flying contortionists and that was worth the price of admission at least for me.

    To each their own. I think I agree with vanberge on this one πŸ™‚

    and vanberge hit the nail on the head with russellteee…i couldn’t have said it any better. also you don’t see any of us giving you shit for enjoying Matt Pond PA.:-p

  7. Em

    So I am not as into “angry music” as I used to be, but I saw Tool at DTE (formerly pineknob) back in like’97 or something. I had never even anything by them. It was insane. I LOVED the show, and because of that I still listen to Tool. Hey, remember when we went to see Korn!!

  8. vanlandw

    lmao…i feel your pain bun :-[

    college gives you NO skills at all…it’s so cool

    and yes the korn show was a butt load of fun :-[

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