The “Real” Detroit Lions

I would like to introduce to everyone the real Detroit Lions Football team. As the “fake” lions are the most abysmal sporting organization to ever grace professional athletics, the real Lions are surely welcomed by all and held in very high regard among all facets of competitive sports.

Introducing The “Real” Sega NFL 2k5 Detroit Lions, straight from my Xbox:

  • Eric Vanberge, #24, Running Back
  • Steven Vanbergs, #10, Wide Receiver, special teams kick return
  • Wesley Vanlandw, #25, Defensive Back, special teams kick/punt return
  • Ryan Payner, #50, Middle Linebacker
  • Eric Flo, #0, Kicker
  • Mr. Mickeyvb, #1, Quarterback
  • Joey Harrington, #3, moved to Field goal/extra point snap holder
  • Remaining roster standard Detroit as of 2005 season

The real Detroit Lions have just completed game 10 of their season with a stunning 68 to 21 victory over the Indianapolis Colts. Highlights include:

  • Steven Vanbergs: 330 receiving yards, 7 Touchdowns
  • Mr. Mickeyvb: 429 yards passing, 8 Touchdown passes
  • Eric Vanberge: 159 yards rushing, 2 Touchdowns
  • Wesley Vanlandw: 2 Interceptions

As we head to week 11 vs. the Arizona Cardinals, here are some of the Season Stats:

  • Eric Vanberge: 227 Carries, 1477 yards, 6.5 ypc, 17 touchdowns, 86 yard longest run, 0 fumbles
  • Steven Vanbergs: 78 Receptions, 1950 yards, 25 ypc, 76 longest rec., 26 Touchdowns
  • Mr. Mickeyvb: 148/274 passes (54%), 3,143 yards passing, 11.5 yds per pass, 36 TD, 24 interceptions, 80 yard longest throw
  • Wes Vanlandw: 20 Tackles, 1.5 sacks, 18 deflected passes, 7 interceptions, 262 yards, 4 Touchdowns. 547 kick return yards, 1 TD. 246 punt return yards, 2 TD.
  • Ryan Payner: 30 Tackles, 3 sacks, 3 forced fumbles
  • Eric Flo: 4 Field goals made, 6 attempts. 55 yard longest.
  • Overall Team: 10-0 Record, 4,642 yards total offense, 469 Total Points.

The Lions are the only undefeated team in the NFL, and the only team to have clinched a playoff birth thus far… The strong quarterback skills of Mr. Mickeyvb hold the teams offense together, and combined with powerful running back/wide receiver brothers McManus – the result is the #1 offense in the NFL.

Ryan Payner and Wes Vanlandw command the defense with mortal peril. Payner provides a strong line presence while Vanlandw continually shuns receivers in sheer dutch coverage.

Eric Flo kicks the ball once in awhile.

12 thoughts on “The “Real” Detroit Lions

  1. mickeyvb

    Mr. Mickeyvb is sheer ‘Air Van’…
    #24 Vanberge is running like he stole somebody’s boom-box…
    #10 Vanbergs has “WeldWood Contact Cement”-coated gloves…
    #25 Vanlandw is a flailing, punishing, pass-deflecting behemoth of a linebacker…
    #50 Payner is a bone-crushing offensive line ‘mud-packer’… (“Eat THIS!! AAAARRRRGGHHHH”)
    #0 Flo can kick the be-jesus out of pigskin, but 55 yard longest is kinda weak, so pick it up flo!!…
    #3 Joey had problems hanging on to the snaps, but enjoyed being on his knees so much, he had to be traded….

  2. bergs

    Perhaps you should write Microsoft a ‘Thank You’ note for including the reset button on the Xbox…undefeated season my ass ๐Ÿ˜›

    I am one hell of a wide receiver.

  3. Vanberge Post author

    Actually, the Xbox doesn’t have a reset button… it has power off and eject. ๐Ÿ˜›

    I was goofing around vs. the Jaguars and you know it… that doesn’t count.

  4. vanlandw

    I’m glad my character is treating you well. Clearly he must be your highest payed player because if I had it my way I would be playing RB. The money must be keeping me a lion ๐Ÿ˜‰

    jk best post ever brb :-*

    please keep us updated with the teams progress

  5. vanberge

    Kramer, i actually had to release you for salary cap reasons :-/ i also had Tom on my team but he suffered the same fate. :-/

    Flo, at least you’re a good kicker!

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